This shit is real now.

A lot happened yesterday. I came out to my mom, I chose my new name, I started talking to a friend of mine about T injections and other stuff he has a lot of experience with. It is all very real now.  Before yesterday my trans stuff was something that was a secret, weird little part of me that only my closest knew about. I could take off that hat when I needed to to protect myself and even if I felt uncomfortable doing it I could just be the butchy lesbian. I feel really vulnerable today and it is not something I like feeling. I am used to keeping the secret parts of me close and not showing anyone. Now I feel like I am on display. 

My mom took it pretty well. I didn't really expect her to freak out or anything, she is pretty understanding. She said that she was watching Letterman a few weeks ago and saw the interview he did with Chaz Bono and something in her head just clicked and she thought "oh my god. this is my daughter". So bless Chaz. My mom tends to get a little overly excited about things like this because she sees the chance for new knowledge and she really wants to be supportive. I worry that sometimes she is not really sharing all her feelings with me.